Perfectly Blended Blog

Marriage Lessons From Will Smith & Chris Rock

Kristy Groce | April 4, 2022

When something happens that is “BIG NEWS” it is so interesting all the differences of opinions that come out of the woodwork. 

Of course, this leads to conversations that Josh and I have privately about how a person’s marriage foundation can directly impact their day to day lives and end up being like a pressure cooker that will just explode one day. Then we were like “why wouldn’t we talk about this on our podcast? If we are talking about it, you know that others are talking about it!

You can’t ignore the past – this could mean so many things that we could probably do a podcast JUST around this. This means unhealed wounds from your childhood, teens, or young adult life. If you have pat trauma that has created a survival mentality that is unhealthy, this needs to be addressed. Ignoring the past can also mean past hurts that have happened currently in your marriage. If there has been broken trust in any way, coming together as a couple and healing together is vitally important.

In my past I was sexually abused and physically abused by multiple family members in my life – I hadn’t healed form that and needed to work through my own trust issues so that I wasn’t taking those issues out on my husband. My husband also needed to be patient with me. 

There are no take-backs – once the action has been done or the words have been spoken, there are no take backs. Will’s reaction to Chris Rock can never be undone. This is the same in your marriage, if there are incidents that have been swept under the rug that are causing something like an “under current” within your marriage, get working on this right away. Your marriage affects all areas of your life and can start affecting your physical and mental health. Seek mentorship together or counseling/coaching if needed.

Josh and I made a promise when we got together to not call each other names or cut each other down and by the grace of God we have been able to stay true to that. What can you and your spouse do to help set up healthy communication?

Trust God with your spouse – Now, we are unclear if Will and Jada are Christians. I am sure we all have guesses, but we don’t really know. BUT, if you have an unhealthy codependency on your spouse that can be solved by you giving your spouse over to God. In order to trust your spouse fully and not depend on them to make you happy, you need to trust God. By trusting God with your relationship that will help you build confidence in the only person you should have confidence in and that is God.

We all need grace – Sometimes it feels like we are willing to offer grace over easier to everyone else EXCEPT our spouse. Let’s be honest – there are times that I do not want to forgive Josh for things. He hurts me or doesn’t love me the way that I needed to be loved that day. I say “that day” because my needs change from day to day and I am sure that yours does too. The only person that can keep up with our needs and actually KNOWS what we ACTUALLY need is Jesus.

Just forgive your spouse… we should not be even contemplating divorce. SO if divorce is not an option, what are you going to do, fight for the rest of your life? Forgive each other. Pray to God to soften your hearts toward one another. 

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Remember – we love you but more importantly God loves you.

                                                                                            ~Josh and Kristy
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