Perfectly Blended Blog

Words Can Hurt Your Marriage

Kristy Groce | Mar 28, 2022

You know that old saying “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

How many times have you thought to yourself – “that is not true!”

Sometimes we forget that what we say can make a drastic impact on the people we love.

We get in a hurry or are in our own little worlds and people will come through, like your spouse, and get nailed with our chaos or anger.

A lot of this comes down to communication and compromise.

If you have missed some previous podcasts, check them out here: These are both YouTube links, but you can find them on our Facebook page as well.

The power of compromise - https://youtu.be/SPvsiMTVLyY

How to change your spouse - https://youtu.be/15D3oZ08Mdk

Remember these three things about your marriage:

1. You are a team 

Once you are united in marriage – you win together or lose together. If you are cutting your spouse down and treating them like they don’t mean anything to you, your marriage fails. Why you ask? Because if your spouse is upset and hurt by you then you are not in harmony with your relationship and your relationship is suffering, i.e., YOU are suffering.

2. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. 

This is yet another cliché’ that our parents taught us, and it rings true! With your spouse you don’t need to be nagging them or making passive aggressive comments to them. If they have hurt, you – then talk to them about it – but don’t lash back. Change your perspective by starting to focus on all the things that they do well and also what kind of week that they are having. Approach them with the intent to bridge the gap and help them. Responding is different than reacting.

3. Lift up, don’t put down

Constructive criticism done in love is always necessary in relationships. What is your goal when speaking with your spouse? Do a heart check, are you purposely saying something to cut the down to make them feel better. How are you speaking ABOUT them to others in your life? Never cut them down to other people because it gives them a false view of your spouse that they don’t know the whole picture.

If you would like to hear a deeper dive into this – check out our podcast from last week.


Remember that God has called us to be greater and to continue to grow. Take responsibility for how you show up to your marriage.

God loves you and we love you.



                                                                                            ~Josh and Kristy
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