Perfectly Blended Blog

Chores & Responsibilities

Kristy Groce | Mar 7, 2022

Blending a stepfamily together is hard work! Between conflicting visitation schedules, different parenting styles, and differences in ages – this task can seem overwhelming.

BUT there are some steps that you and your spouse can implement so both of you feel good about the chores and still help your kids learn responsibilities. ;)

1. Make it Fair

When it comes to chores and responsibilities making it fair would mean that you assign chores that are age appropriate and try to have equal weight distributed to the kids.

For example: My kids were with Josh and I almost 100% of the time and his kids were with us 60% of the time. So, we assigned every kid chores two days a week with no chores on the weekends.

It is still important to give kids chores and tasks around the house because it is teaching them responsibilities. Josh and I have heard that some people don’t want to do that because they are already dealing with enough but having healthy responsibility of something that they are in charge of, gives them a sense of purpose.

2. Talk about it first

What we mean is for you and your spouse to decide on the chores and the frequencies before you sit down and have a family meeting about it.

If you don’t have a family meeting the bio parent should sit down and talk to their kids about it. Also, you each should talk about what push back that each of you may encounter, any potential guilt that could arise from that and how you will stand strong together. 

This is good to do because you can work through any issues and your different parenting styles. All this would happen behind closed doors and you get to still be a united front to the little munchkins.

You don’t want to end up arguing in front of the kids because one of the kids threw a fit – then each of you are defending your own kids and not each other… (sigh)

3. Chore Chart

THIS was a LIFESAVER for us! I don’t remember who came up with this idea, but if I had to guess I would say it was me, Kristy. LOL!

If you would like to see how to use the chore chart you can check out the video here

Josh and I combined the chore board with also punishments. (Slick way to fool these kids!)

Everyone started on green light at the beginning of the week and were moved to yellow after a warning and then to red.

If they were moved to red light within the week – then there was a list of punishments on the board that they had to choose from to complete.

For example – writing sentences or picking up dog poop. These were different from their regular chores.

How this helped was that it stopped us from hearing “things weren’t fair” and we started doing this within the first 6 months of our living together. It was a tremendous help.

We used this chore board for about 4 years, and it became unnecessary after that because the kids knew what to expect and didn’t give any push back because it had become a ‘norm” in their life.

Check out the video podcast we did on this topic! 

Click the links below.



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