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Perfectly Blended Blog
Are You Feeling Stuck In Your Blended Family?
Kristy Groce | Nov 1, 2021
Our society has proven we want fast everything; fast food, fast WIFI, fast deliveries, etc...
One thing that does not come fast is trust and trust is what is the foundation of relationships. Your blended family is not going to fuse together as soon as the nuptials are spoken.
The average stepfamily takes 4-7 years to blend, and truth be told we are very impatient individuals.
One of our favorite authors/speakers is Tony Robbins and he says, “People tend to overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten.”
This quote can be applied easily to your blended family – don’t overestimate how quickly you will blend in one year but underestimate how amazing your family will be after 10.
You many feel stuck right now in a negative pattern.
We suggest you start with these 3 things to help keep nudging forward:
1. Spouse Dates - Your family is only as strong as your marriage. If your family is feeling stuck it will not move forward unless you two are united. Go out together and talk about what each of you are feeling and discuss ideas of what you each would like to see happen within the family. During these dates do not neglect to talk about each other, what you love about each other and where you see yourselves in 5 years, 10 years, & as empty nesters.
2. Family meetings – the key to these is to also have fun! If your family tension seems to be heavy, then schedule a family fun night to do something together. Overall, you must be patient and keep at it. Family meetings will not always go smoothly the first few times you meet. Some kids will be angry and voice that, some will not speak at all, and some will not be truthful in their feelings all together. The point is to meet and to have everyone come together, the more you are all together and communicating the easier and more natural it will become. This helps with blending.
3. Mini Family Dates – the mini families are the bio families that form within the blended family. It is VERY important for kids to get time with their bio parents. This will help bridge the gap between each mini family. This helps the kids build trust for their stepparent and step siblings. The reason why is because this allows the children to talk to their bio parent where they feel safe about their feelings and their parent help them understand their feelings and work through them.
Stepfamilies within the Christian community is a very high need but low demand – be a part of the movement with us.